PRACTICING TOUGH CONVERSATIONS
It may be easiest to practice a conversation about underage drinking with another adult before opening up a dialogue with your teen, especially if you suspect your child is experimenting with alcohol or other drugs. The following section contains examples of typical problems parents bring up to their teens, and teens' responses.
Find another adult you trust and are comfortable with to help you go through these samples until you feel confident.
- » You've got a problem and I need to talk to you about it.
- » You've disappointed me and broken our rules. Here's how we're going to help you.
- » Do you want to tell me what's going on?
What to say if your teen says…
In the following examples, the teen is upset. As a parent, you will probably feel provoked by your son or daughter's response. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT for you as a parent NOT to get hooked into the feeling, and not to get upset. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT for you to stay calm and on task. One way not to get upset is to take a deep breath and relax yourself, another way is to imagine you are dealing with them as you did when they were an infant: you tolerate their crying, but maintained your cool. Do what you need to do to stay calm.
- » Get out of my face, why are you always coming down on me?
- » Just leave me alone. I hate you.
- » Everyone's drinking…what's the big deal?
Conversations adapted from Parents: The Anti-Drug.